Forum

Great news Julie! First thing: you've already got the gig. It's normal to be nervous on the first day of work, and these upcoming events (the lunch and the team meeting) are more like the first day of work than they are like a job interview. That's the first thing I would focus on. You're in. You aren't outside the door looking in. All you have to do at lunch and at the team meeting is relax enough to let your natural warmth and brilliance flow out. In other words, you don't have to do anything special -- you just have to be yourself.

It's much easier to have something to focus on (one reason agendas are so popular) than it is to try NOT to do something, like panic or dither. In your case, your agenda can focus on the work you're going to perform for them, who is affected by the project, and so on. Here is an agenda to get you started (you won't get through it at lunch, for sure - that's okay -- there's no need to 'push' the agenda, but it'll give you something to talk about if you sense a lull in the conversation):

-- what's your manager's history in the company? How did s/he come to have the set of responsibilities s/he has now?
-- how did the present need arise? What forces (competition, a change in business strategy, growth) gave rise to the issue you'll be working on?
-- how does your manager see the work or the project unfolding? What plans has s/he already put together for the work? Which big questions are still open?
-- who are the other principal stakeholders (apart from your manager)? What are their roles, and sensitivities?

You have already made it through the keyhole. Hurrah! Now your job is to open up and listen. You have nothing to push or to prove. You will impress them via your ability to be present, listen and ask great questions. You don't have to convince them that you're qualified. Of course, you'll answer questions they ask of you, but the hardest part of the deal is behind you.

As for the nerves, focus on the agenda. If you start to fall back into your head and a voice says "You're floundering! Red alert!," take a sip of water and a deep breath and say "I apologize, I'm a bit nervous. Kind of silly, right?" and stay in the moment. It happens to almost everyone at some point and it's NOT A BIG DEAL. You are perfect. You are going to knock their socks off, not by giving some whizbang performance at lunch or the meeting but by showing up as a human being. Isn't that a comforting thought?

Best

Liz