A frame is a mental model. Once we encounter a situation, a person, an object, a feeling or a problem for the first time, we learn to put that person or thing into a frame, or a mental model, so that we can deal with a similar stimulus the next time we encounter it. Frames are full of social and emotional cues. Did you ever notice how grownups can fall right back into old childhood roles (bratty kid sister, overlooked middle child, etc.) when they get together with their families? They are walking back into an old frame, and behaving the way the frame (the birth order of siblings in a family) tells them to behave.

Humans use frames to get through the day without having to deal with every single situation as though we’d never experienced it before. However, frames can hurt us too. When we have beliefs about how we’re ‘supposed’ to behave in a certain situation, we can keep our whole self out of the encounter, and that is a shame. We can wall off part of ourselves, believing that the social frame for the situation dictates that we act or speak in a way that isn’t really ‘us.’ It can happen to us at work, at school, or almost anywhere. We can go undercover. That is too bad, because when we bring our whole selves with us into every situation, everyone benefits, whether we’re on a job search or working in a large organization, leading a team or striking out on an entrepreneurial adventure.

Here are some frames that limit us from bringing our whole selves to every situation:

• The frame called “I Might Look (or Sound) Stupid”
• The frame called “Who am I to Say/Think/Ask That?”
• The frame called “Keeping Up Appearances is Critical”

Lots of us carry around old beliefs and frames that hold us back. We might think “I already have years of credibility in one industry; why would I go out and start a new career now?” We might have a frame that says “It’s not good to shoot too high. I might fail” or one that says “I’m the manager, so of course I make all the decisions. That’s what makes me the manager, after all.” We can shift or break out of any frame we’re in, as soon as we see it. In order to shift or break out of frames that could be holding us back, first we need to see the frames!

At Ask Liz Ryan we talk about frames all the time. We help our individual clients see the frames that are holding them back, and help our organizational clients to see the frames that they’re operating in, also. What frames do you carry around that might not be serving you, your organization or your clients?